What’s that- you live in San Francisco? You work in a start-up? You’ve got this sweet live/work loft sitch in SOMA? Join the club – we meet on Tuesdays, at Nicks Crispy Tacos. Oh wait, you were at the last one, right? Yeah… you asked the bartender about the bourbon selection then ordered a PBR…

We are united in this fair city by more than our crazy jobs, happy hour and meet-up filled schedules, and inability to contain ourselves when the weather gets above 75’. We’re united in the surprisingly FEW things us San Franciscans actually do ourselves..

Let me ask you a question, fellow 7x7er, when was the last time you actually hailed your own cab? What about bought your own groceries, at an actual grocery store, and brought them home yourself, in your own reusable shopping bag? Parallel parked your car? Did your dishes? Made dinner? Cleaned your house? WITHOUT  the use of Exec, Taskrabbit, Instacart, Lyft, HomeJoy, Seamless, Munchery, etc., that is..

I know, I have no idea either.

It can be hard to live in the city; driving sucks- you’re on the lookout for parking even when you’re nowhere near your destination. People suck- they crowd you at the grocery stores, and interrupt your appointment at the genus bar. Factor in traffic, parking, lines, and pedestrians and suddenly a seemingly simple errand can take all day.

And arguably, why should any of us have to bother with that nonsense when this city has got such a vast array of start-ups vying for our attention with the promise of rides, groceries, and the assembly of our new Ikea furniture? With so many options it becomes hard to say no.. But is it too many options? Are we forgetting our training? Did we just replace mom with an Exec? Are we actually too busy?

My Life on Any Given Day:

Too Damn Early:

Wake up- usually to a giant dog nose to the face. It’s too early. I was up too late. I should pay someone to walk Lilly. I should go back to bed. I should buy a boat.

6:45:

Ok, fine, I’ll resign myself to start my day. Thank god I pay for Spotify so I can stream my “Gettin’ Ready” playlist anywhere. Is there a Giants game today? Better check. Shit. Now I can’t drive, damn you SOMA parking lots. I’ll take the bus. Hahahaha. That’s a lie. We all know I don’t ride the bus. Fuck you Muni.

8:30ish:

Time to play my favorite game: What app will I use to get me to work today? Let’s start with Uber Taxi. Hrm- none available. Lyft it is. Shit, no drivers, what’s the deal? I’ll UberX it. 6 Minutes. Just enough time to re-think my shoes.

9am:

I pull up to my typical SOMA office building, with time for a Cento (a necessary latte). I see three people I know. I get into the office.

9:15:

Montherfuckmesideways; I forgot my laptop. Is anyone home? Are you home? Who’s home? STAY WHERE YOU ARE! I’m Exec-ing someone to come get my laptop and bring it to me. I have an app for that. I could go get it myself, but who had time for that? I’ll just make a Nespresso, maybe grab a Philz, eat a Kind Bar and track the Exec on my phone – I love that feature.

10:30:

Down to business. Email, email, Buzzfeed, conference call, Facebook. Looks like I need to hang a shelf in a conference room- Dear Taskrabbit, I’ll pay you $40 to do this, kthxbye.

2pm:

Time to set up a Seamless lunch order for everyone for tomorrow. We don’t do our own lunches…

3:30:

Do I have plans tonight? No- cool, let’s Instacart groceries so I can make dinner; I’ll invite the girls. Dinner party. done.

4pm:

Email, email, email, Oh- I need hairspray and toothpaste- let me just Amazon Prime that, it’ll be here tomorrow.

5pm:

Email, email, what a cute puppy gif- send all, email email, time to Lyft home.

6pm:

The Instacart arrives 20 minutes after I get home, the girls 10 after that. I love impromptu family dinner! Time to cook, time to drink, time to laugh, time to sing.

9:30:

What do you mean we’re out of wine? No- don’t go to the corner, just Rewinery that shit, it’ll be here in an hour- Cards Against Humanity, anyone?

12:45am:

Glorious evening, but we destroyed le’kitchen, and le’living room. I’ll Exec a house cleaning in the morning.

1am:

Fall into bed. Repeat as often as possible..

Did that day sound like your day? I know, right? Do you feel guilty about it? I don’t either. OK- that’s a lie; I feel guilty on Monday morning when I check my bank balance. I feel guilty when I realize I haven’t left the house all weekend. I feel guilty when I find myself lying to Exec about why they’re bringing me ice cream on Friday night.. Do I think I replaced mom with an Exec? No. Do I think I now have a personal assistant on my iPhone? Fuck yeah I do.  (As writing this I exec’d someone to get me dog food, btws).

Be pro ALL THE APPs, be anti Apps. It’s your life, it’s your money, it’s your everything.