I stay up late on Thursdays.

I stay up late on Thursdays for many reasons; I might have gone out with friends (Thursday is the new Friday, after all), I’m tangled in the web of some Netflix drama I’ve never seen before (just one more episode, I swear), and inevitably, I’m waiting for that little push notification to pop up on my iphone or ipad “A direct deposit greater than $125.00 has posted to your account.” Have greater words ever been pushed to an Apple device? I think not. Pay day.

With money in my account, laying in bed, in my two bedroom Potrero Hill flat, I can breath. The possibilities are endless. I could pick up and go somewhere; just go to the airport and buy what I need when I get wherever I’m going. I could buy that brand new couch from Room & Board that continues to haunt the pages of my Pinterest and Wanelo Stories. I could hire a personal trainer to force me to exercise every day. I could go on a ModCloth shopping spree… I could do anything. For about 18 hours…

Friday morning I wake up with a pep in my step, I Uber to work, because fuck you MUNI, and get an extra shot of espresso in my almond milk latte. I chat with my coworkers, check email, check facebook, check twitter. I settle into the task at hand, paying my bills: Amex? Check. Dog walker (God bless you, sir)? Check. Car insurance for the car I hardly ever drive? Check. Wire to the creditor because I’m finally paying off an old medical bill (mother fuckers)? Check. Comcast (how can I hate something and love something so much at the same time?)? Check. PG&E? check. Cell Phone? Check. Target card isn’t due till next pay day? Do a happy dance! Where the fuck did all my money just go? I have HOW MUCH for the next two weeks??

I’m 30 years old. I have a decent job. I make a decent living. BUT: I DO think fancy cheese is a standard grocery purchase.. As are Field Range Eggs, organic meats, and prosecco (you know, to celebrate Tuesdays..) Yes, I only shop at Rainbow and Whole Foods. I do prefer car service to MUNI. I do get my hair done. I do think it’s important to get your brows waxed, and your lashes tinted. I live in San Francisco. I LIKE to go out to eat. Postmates is the best thing to have ever happened to lazy people. And let’s be honest, my grocery bill has gone up exponentially since I left the “start up life.”  Good Christ I miss all that free shit. That all being said- I think I’m reasonable. And rational. And relatively good with money. So why the fuck do I alway feel so poor? When did everything get so expensive?

Complaining to a friend I say “maybe I should try living like a college kid again for a couple of weeks…” You remember being 20, right? You couldn’t actually “go out” so you hung out and drank at home. You ordered pizza, and put out popcorn when people came over. There were no cheese plates and elaborate salumi boards. You had cheep beer and cheese wiz. You didn’t order Munchery or Sprig; you made a casserole on Sunday night and had it every day for the next week. Ramen. Sweet Jesus the things you could do with ramen.

SO, my friend and I have come up with a challenge. Starting 9/1 we’re going to live like we’re 20 for two weeks, and I’m challenging you to join us. Shopping can be done at FoodCo, Costco, and Safeway (but only if it’s on sale). You will eat at home, or at a friends house. Bars can only be frequented if there is: a) a happy hour with free food b) drinks under $5 c) someone else that has already agreed to pick up the tab (hello company sponsored drinking). You will always say “yes” if free food is offered. You will take home leftovers. You will take the bus OR Lyft Line/Uber Pool. You will walk. You will set up fake accounts to “share with friends” to get the new person credit. You will go to the library instead of buying a book. You will eat ramen. Stay tuned for the update on how long we lasted, and to see if we took anything away from the challenge. I’m hoping to have dropped 10 pounds, and have a bunch of extra cash to play with. What about you?

Today is Friday. I just paid my bills, and I’m getting my hair done in about 2 hours. Tonight I will go out to dinner with one of my best friends. I know exactly how much money I have in my bank account. Let’s do this.